Therapy for Motherhood & Identity Finding Your Way Back to Yourself
You can love your child completely and still miss the person you used to be. If motherhood has left you feeling unsure of who you are now, I offer a space to explore it, without guilt and without judgment.
- Licensed therapist in NY & NM
- 15+ years’ experience
- Sessions from the comfort of home
A Change as Big as Any in Life
Becoming a mother can reshape your routines, relationships, work, body and sense of self, even when it was deeply wanted. Missing parts of your old life doesn't take away from your love.
This transition is called matrescence. It is often compared to adolescence in its scale, yet it is rarely talked about. Without that context, the disorientation can feel like personal failure rather than a normal and profound change.
Together we can explore who you were, who you are becoming, and how to make space for motherhood alongside the other parts of you that still matter.
You are allowed to be a mother and still be you.
Words I Often Hear, and What I Want You to Know
Whatever you are feeling, it is welcome here, just as it is.
I love my baby, but I don't recognize myself anymore.
Both of those things can be true at once. Missing who you were does not take away from your love.
I feel guilty for wanting time to myself.
Your needs still matter. Caring for yourself is not taking anything away from your family.
Everyone else seems to find this so easy.
Many people feel exactly this way behind closed doors. You are far from alone.
How We Can Work Through This Together
My approach is warm, down-to-earth and shaped entirely around you. I focus solely on reproductive and perinatal mental health, so you won’t need to explain the background.
Understanding, not blaming
We place what you're feeling inside the real, profound change of matrescence, so you can see it with more kindness.
Reconnecting with what matters
We explore your values, your boundaries and what you want to protect, at home, at work and in your relationships.
Room for mixed feelings
Love, grief, frustration and joy can all live together. Every part of it is welcome here.
Reaching Out Can Feel Hard. I’ll Make It as Easy as I Can.
A free initial chat
A 15-minute phone call to share a little about what is happening, if you want to. You don’t need the right words, and there is no commitment.
Getting to know you
In our first sessions we go slowly, getting to know you and your story, and deciding together what would help most.
Support that fits your life
50-minute sessions by secure video from wherever you feel most at ease, shaped around what you need as things change.
Questions You Might Have
If you have a question that isn’t here, you are very welcome to ask it in your free chat.
How can therapy help with identity after becoming a mother?
Therapy offers space to explore changes in identity, independence, work, relationships and confidence, and to discover what motherhood means to you without losing the rest of who you are.
Is it normal to miss my life before motherhood?
Yes, it is very common. Missing parts of your previous life does not cancel out your love for your family. There is room for both here.
Does this apply if my children are older?
Yes. Identity questions often return at transitions such as going back to work, having another child or children starting school.
Is what I'm feeling "bad enough" for therapy?
If it is weighing on you, it matters. You do not need to be in crisis to deserve support, and many people find it helps to reach out before things feel unmanageable. If you are in crisis or feel unsafe, please call or text 988.
What if I don't know what to say?
That is completely okay. Many people start by saying exactly that. I will guide our conversation, and you only ever share what feels right.
How do sessions work?
Sessions are 50 minutes by secure, HIPAA-compliant video, so you can join from wherever you feel most at ease. You need to be located in New York or New Mexico at the time of each session.
Can meditation be part of our work together?
Yes, if it feels right for you. Simple meditation practices can help you notice and stay with difficult emotions between sessions, and many clients find they complement therapy well. You can read more about meditation.
What does a session cost?
Sessions are $250.
Do you accept insurance?
I am not in-network with insurance plans. For psychotherapy clients in New York and New Mexico, I can provide a superbill to submit to your insurer for possible out-of-network reimbursement.
How do I get started?
Send a short message to arrange a free 15-minute phone chat. We will talk a little about what brings you here, you can ask any questions, and then you can decide, with no pressure, whether to begin.
Experiences That Often Go Together
Postpartum
For the exhaustion, worry, sadness or anger that can follow, and the shame that often comes with it.
Learn more BirthBirth Trauma
For a birth that felt frightening or out of your control, however long ago.
Learn more Trying to conceiveInfertility
For the quiet grief of each month, the decisions, and the futures you are still hoping for.
Learn moreMore ways I can help: IVFPregnancyPregnancy LossMeditation
When You’re Ready, I’m Here
You don’t have to have it all figured out, or even know what you need. A free 15-minute chat is simply a chance to be heard and see if we feel like a good fit.
Online therapy for clients located in New York and New Mexico.